So, a little one is about to start school for the first time—maybe it’s preschool or kindergarten—and it’s natural to feel a mix of excitement, pride, and maybe a little panic (after all, you have to keep an extra eye on their health now).
But the last thing any parent wants is to get that dreaded phone call from the teacher saying, “We need to talk about your child’s behavior.” In a way, it’s like a punch to the gut, right? Not only does it feel embarrassing, but it can also feel like a direct reflection on parenting skills. Plus, teachers have enough on their plates without having to play referee every five minutes.
It’s so important when your kid is starting school for the first time (and yes, the same goes for daycare, too) would be the fact that they already, as in instantly, need to get into the habit of being a good student. But a lot can be done to set a child up for success in the classroom, starting right now.
Yes, even before they’ve taken their first steps into that colorful, crayon-scented wonderland that is their first classroom. Basically, early school experiences can shape how a child approaches school for years to come, so getting their behavior on track from day one is key.
So, where exactly do you even start with something like this?
Start with a Routine at Home
You have to keep in mind that kids thrive on routine. It’s comforting to them; it makes them feel secure, and—bonus—it helps them understand expectations. So ideally, before school starts, you should try and establish a daily routine that mimics what they’ll experience at school. Just think about regular wake-up times, structured meal and snack times, and some form of learning or quiet play. If they know what to expect at home, they’re more likely to adapt to a similar structure at school.
But what’s another biggie? Well, when you have the time, try to practice those morning routines so the child gets used to what it’ll be like when school actually starts. Just let them pick out their clothes the night before, pack their bag together, and maybe even have a “pretend” school day where the motions are gone through. It sounds simple, but these little things can make a big difference when the first day rolls around.
Again, your child is young, and this is to help them get more into the habit of having a routine, which makes it easier to transition into school life.
Teach Basic Social Skills
Kids aren’t born knowing how to share, take turns, or say “please” and “thank you.” These are learned behaviors, and they’re absolutely important for a smooth start to school. Usually, this is taught when they’re toddlers, but it should still be pressed on with age.
So, before school starts, work on these basics at home. It might even help to just play games where taking turns is required or role-play situations where they might need to ask for something politely or share with a friend. But also make sure to help them with their listening skills (which are what teachers probably need the most).
Be Clear About Expectations
Kids need to know what’s expected of them, both at home and at school. But here’s the the thing though, there needs to be some consistency, this is key. If strictness about manners is maintained at home, but they see rules being bent in public, guess what? They’re going to test those boundaries at school too.
Sometimes, teachers will have a school behavior social contract template for both the child and the parent to sign, but you could also do something similar for your child too. They need to know that school isn’t for having fun and being social; they need to understand that they can’t (and better not) give their teacher(s) a hard time.
So you’re going to have to sit down with the child and talk about what’s expected of them when they’re at school. You need to let them know that this is expected out of everyone, and even if other students in his class act up, it doesn’t mean that he should.
Emphasize Respect for the Teacher
One of the most important lessons to teach a child is to respect their teacher. After all, the teacher is the adult in charge, and what they say goes. Besides, you need to keep in mind that there’s a teacher shortage, and it’s mostly due to the fact that parents and children are making the jobs far too difficult for teachers to manage. So, it was mentioned above already, but you’ll need to talk to the child about how important it is to listen when the teacher is talking and to follow directions the first time.
This can be practiced at home by playing “school,” where the adult is the teacher, and the child has to follow instructions. It’s a fun way to reinforce the idea that the teacher’s word is law—at least in the classroom.
Help Them Build Independence
Starting school is a huge step towards independence for a child, and that can be both exciting and scary. But due to this bit of independence, they need to know how to use it the right way, responsibility of course. So, try to start at home with responsibilities and independence as this can usually help them behave better. For example, you can let them choose their outfit for the day, pour their own cereal, or put on their own shoes.
The more they can do for themselves, the more capable they’ll feel at school. And when they feel capable, they’re less likely to act out. After all, most misbehavior stems from frustration or a need for attention. If a child feels confident and independent, they’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges of the classroom.
Model Good Behavior
It’s obvious, but parents still don’t seem to realize this. But children are watching more than adults realize. They pick up on how reactions to situations occur, how others are treated, and how stress is handled. If a child is expected to behave well at school, it starts with how adults behave at home.
So, you’re going to have to show them what it looks like to be respectful, patient, and kind. If a mistake is made, own up to it and apologize. When they see adults handling situations calmly and respectfully, they’re more likely to do the same.
